giggle pop

I love mascots for food. Count chocula, the Cadbury bunny, Cap’n crunch, The hamburgler, Jared from subway, The trix bunny, Tucan sam, snap, crackle and pop …I could go on forever. However there is a breed of food mascot that I just don’t like when the mascot is the food itself. M&M’s, the tuna on star kist tuna, peeps, the chips a-hoy cookies and so on. I don’t like thinking I am eating the character that made me giggle on the commercial on tv.

I am sure many have seen the recent m&m commercial where the m&ms are in the grocery store and one says “ooh look we are on the guest list” and the other says “no that is the menu” and then they looked all sad. That does not make me want to eat m&m’s that makes me want to start a foundation to stop the cruel treatment of candied creatures that melt in your mouth not in your hand. Same thing goes for the chip’s a-hoy cookies…in one commercial they were driving and singing it is not right to eat something that drives and sings. And Mr. Peanut? He is like the classiest mofo out there, you can’t eat him that would be like eating the dude from monopoly or some English Duke. Just not right, not right at all.



On the other hand food mascots like count chocula and cap’n crunch are just awesome. You could sail the high seas with the cap’n and enjoy his cereal along the way. You could go on a crime spree with the hamburgler, get chased by a mob of children with the trix bunny while he plots to get his precious cereal back. But you would never eat your treat providing comrades, and if you did, well you would be put in food jail.

So next time those advertising fascists want you to eat the creature you just enjoyed watching on tv just say no.

It was a frosty January day, about a month before the bar exam. I needed a change of study scenery, I was sick of my house, and sick of my usual coffee shop. I ventured into “downtown” and found a lovely little coffee shop, it had big tables, bagels, and wireless internet. This was the perfect establishment, or so I thought. After a few hours of vigorous work on con law I decided I need a break. So I fired up the old mac and went to my favorite website, kickette. As some of you know (I think a few kickettes may even be reading this) this is an awesome website of football gossip, and lots of girls talking about our favorite things, football and hot footballers. On this day there was a wonderful little story on the main page, it had pictures of the new David Beckham Armani ads. I hope you are familiar with these ads, they basically involve becks in virtually no clothing looking hotty bombastic.
See example:

Splash news via Kickette

Now this is just what I needed on this long day of studying. Say what you will about becks, I wont get into my opinion on his playing, and I am bored to death of the will-he-wont-he Milan saga. However, when it comes down to it, stick that man in a pair of undies and he’s still got it goin’ on.

Anyways, I am sitting on my well deserved break admiring the above photo, then I notice the lady cleaning the tables behind me gasp. Now I gasped in the “damn it’s getting hot in here” way when I saw this picture, nope she gasped in a, gasp, judgmental way. She was actually judging me for looking at mr. golden balls barely covered golden balls (I know that was terrible I could not resist, sorry!). I turned around and saw the look on her face that accompanied the gasp, it was full of disapproval and judgment. The look on my face was initially one of confusion, trying to understand this moment that pulled me out of my happy place, and it quickly switched to a judgmental look of my own. I judged her for not enjoying this photo. I mean how could you not. I knew then and there I would never come back to this establishment, it clearly was not staffed by my kind of people. I am still baffled by this women and her moment of judgment. I honestly think her vagina should be revoked, yup I did just say that.

This is an idea I have had stirring in my brain since I discovered men’s water polo this summer at the Olympics. It came to my mind again after watching part of round two of the Honda Classic (golf), I decided there really needs to be a sports network more geared towards women. I am not talking about showing women’s sports, I am talking about making one for women viewers.

For instance I am pretty new to watching golf, I enjoy it, it is relaxing to watch. I also love a few certain hottie golfers e.g. Camilo Villegas, Sergio Garcia, Oliver Wilson, Adam Scott, etc. Now even in good golf coverage they usually only show the leaders of the day. I had a good time watching on Thursday because Sergio was up at the top of the leaderboard most of the day so there was definitely a lot of sexy Spaniard on the TV. Then today he does not have such a good round, and bam he is gone. Camilo has not done well at all so far, so he is barely seen as well. Now the golf channel I am certain is geared 125% towards men. I know this fact with certainty because almost every commercial is about some sort of erectile dysfunction, I mean one commercial break has more ED commercials than anyone should ever ever ever ever see in a lifetime. Now if there was a network geared towards me, I mean women, the coverage would be a bit different. Of course you show the guys who are leading I do like watching good golf being played. But also give a little air time to the lawn crawler in tight pants bending his body in intriguing ways to scope out a put.

Don’t get me wrong I do actually watch sports for the game itself. I can tell you most anything about football, tennis, college basketball, and a bit about golf. I also know and am interested in other things though. Like a certain goal keeper who remains hot even though he is going through some questionable haircuts. A certain French midfielder who likes to strip down after games to his little briefs…and proceed to jog (sigh). Or a certain tennis player with a wonderful left arm that I now cheer for a little less since he started wearing sleeves. The camera men on these male oriented networks do a great job of covering the action of games, however they just do not know where to point the cameras in post game celebrations and jersey swapping. I think there is a market here, because I know many other girls out there who think just like me!

Bonus star and proud pat on the head for anyone who can name my referenced athletes in the last paragraph.