giggle pop

There is a grouse that now lives by a tree in my yard. If you are not familiar with the creature it is a chubby little bird that waddles when it walks and can barely fly. I usually am terrified of birds, but this one seemed all right. Usually I am worried they will attack me with their sharp claws and beaks, but this one looks like it would feel like getting hit with a soft cushion if it attacked.
At first I was cool with him hanging out by my tree. Then I discovered it was there trying to mate. I am sorry but my yard is not some seedy pick up joint for some chubby horny bird. This is not the type of riff-raff I need around when trying to establish a footie sanctuary. Or maybe it is. Or maybe I am just jealous.

I am still pretty sure the deer in my yard want to eat me. I started feeding them early in the winter because I liked looking at them when they came in the yard. I named them after football players, there was the one with the big ears I called Iker and the little feisty one I named Lionel. There were many others as well. I stopped feeding them a week or two ago because it is spring and they can find their own food, also my yard has turned into a giant puddle as the many feet of snow is melting and I cant get to the deer feeding spot. Now they all just sit around the tree I used to put their food by and look at me in my living room, and just watch…it is pretty frickin creepy. One licked its lips will staring at me creepily. I will use caution when going outside. This is not entirely based on my own paranoia, I do have a history of getting attacked by animals. I did notice a chubby little grouse coming into the yard lately, I call him Fabio, I normally don’t trust birds, but he looks pretty cool.